The questions I've been asking lately.

 -  Truly God is good to Israel, to those whose hearts are pure.

But as for me, I almost lost my footing.  My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone.

For I envied the proud when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness.

They seemt o live such painless lives; their bodies are so healthy and strong.

They don't have troubles like other people; they're not plagued with problems like everyone else.

They wear pride like a jeweled necklace and clothe themselves with cruelty.

These fats cats have everything their hearts could ever wish for!

They scoff and speak only evil; in their pride they seek to crush others.

They boast against the very heavens, and their words strut throughout the earth.

And so the people are dismayed and confused, drinking in all their words.

"What does God know?" they ask.  "Does the Most High even know what's happening?"

Look at these wicked people-enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply.

 -  Did I keep my heart pure for nothing?  Did I keep myself innocent for no reason?

I get nothing but trouble all day long; every morning brings me pain.

 -  If I had really spoken this way to others, I would have been a traitor to your people.

So I tried to understand why the wicked prosper.  But what a difficult task it is!

Then I went into your sanctuary, O God, and I finally understood the destiny of the wicked.

Truly, you put them on a slippery path and send them sliding over the cliff to destruction.

In an instant they are destroyed, completely swept away by terrors.

When you aise, O Lord, you will laugh at their silly ideas as a person laughs at dream in the morning.

 -  Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside.

I was so foolish and ignorant-I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.

Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny.

Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth.

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.

 -  Those who desert him will perish, for you destroy those who abandon you.

But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Soverign Lord my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.

Psalm 73.

Instrumental

I have been blessed with the friendship of very wise people. I don't think I write things down enough because I forget a lot of the wisdom people impart to me. It's pretty pointless to listen to wise people if you don't remember what they say. This one, however, struck a "chord" with me (you'll get that joke in a moment).

"Worship ministry has little to do with the instrument in your hands and EVERYTHING to do with the people you're leading." - Travis Doucette

An instrument is defined as "a means by which something is effected or done". This opens up the definition to mean a musical instrument, a surgical instrument or a person being used as an instrument. I agree with Travis. Some of the most spirited filled and fruitful times of corporate worship I've seen have come from a cappella music, or times that have instrumental accompaniment but it is far less "busy" in terms of what corporate worship has become in most of today's local churches. We have a large majority of our generation that think corporate worship cannot happen without electric guitars, drum sets and sweet synthesizers rockin out like David Crowder*Band (not that there is anything inherently sinful or wrong with any of those things).

I am a firm believer that when you are leading a group of individuals regardless of what position you're in, you need to take into account the group of people you're leading. I have a friend who is in a position of leadership at a Christian College who is about to hire other leaders that not only she will lead, but who will in turn lead others. I am the worship director for a ministry that has an extensive leadership skeleton in place. Just like myself, my friend, any pastor, or anyone else in a position of leadership, choices who affect others can be an instrument as well. It is an interesting place in life to realize that you are an instrument of God. Not so much as being manipulated like some host to some cosmic parasite but like a guitar, or a clarinet.

I like to think I'm a Cello.

Ephesians is a glorious book filled with lots of instruction on how the body of Christ should function. It's no wonder that we could find a beautiful illustration here on how we are viewed by God. In verse ten, Paul reminds us,
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."

I thought I wanted to elaborate on this, but I don't think it's really necessary. So I'm going to leave you with another excerpt God brought me last night. I think this wraps up what it is to be an instrument better than I could ever say.

Romans 6:1-13: What shall we say? Are we to remain in sin in order that God's grace may multiply and overflow? Certainly not! How can we who died to sin live in it any longer? Are you ignorant of the fact that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with Him by the baptism into death, so that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the father, so we too might habitually live and behave in newness of life. For if we have become one with Him by sharing a death like His, we shall also be one with Him in sharing His resurrection by a new life lived for God. We know that our old self was nailed to the cross with Him in order that our body which is the instrument of sin might be made ineffective and inactive for evil, that we might no longer be the slaves of sin. For when a man dies, he is freed from the power of sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, because we know that Chris, being once raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has power over Him. For by the death He died, He died to sin ending His relation to it once for all; and the life that He lives, He is living to God in unbroken fellowship with Him. Even so consider yourselves also dead to sin and your relation to it broken, but alive to God living in unbroken fellowship with Him in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore rule as king in your mortal bodies, to make you yield to its cravings and be subject to its lusts and evil passions. Do not continue offering or yuielding your bodily members and faculties to sin as instruments of wickedness. But offer and yield yourselves to God as though you have been raised from the dead to perpetual life, and your bodily members and faculties to God, presenting them as instruments of righteousness.

Beauty is in the Eye of the Creator. Wait, what?

So sue me. I was never good at cliches, anyway.

There are certain things people can do or say to automatically make people cringe. For instance, if I say the words "Eyeball" and "Papercut" within the span of three to four minutes, I have a dear friend whom at other times while appearing quite manly, in this situation will scream like a second grade girl who just had worms put in her hair. I have the fortune of being friends with numerous nurses and people who have worked at hospitals. I have a pretty strong stomach, but one of my friends told me a story of a guy who was high on crystal meth. Those are always interesting stories because people on crystal meth usually have some kind of inhuman strength. This particular story involved a man ripped out his various IVs and attached medical equipment. Just reviewing the words I just wrote makes me cringe and cradle my arms.

For anyone who has read the second book of Samuel in the old testament, we have a similar reaction when we hear the name Tamar. We have a more sympathetic reaction, but it's the same feeling that rends our heart with empathy for this woman. In an opposite reaction, we hear the name Amnon and we are filled with anger. A ironic hatred for someone named "Faithful".

In chapter thirteen we are introduced to this woman named Tamar.

v. 1-2: Absalom son of David had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar, and Amnon [her half brother] son of David loved her. And Amnon was so troubled that he fell sick for his [half] sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and Amnon thought it impossible for him to do anything to her.

Most bibles translate the description of Tamar as "Fair". But "yapheh" in Hebrew means "Beautiful, Handsome". In the verses following, Amnon devises a plan to rape Tamar. God in his sovereignty, however, clearly gives Amnon a way out of the deed multiple times. In verse four it says Amnon's friend Jonadad had to actually ask Amnon what was going on. Amnon didn't just go around talking about it. He kept it to himself which was obviously the smarter choice. In verse nine when Tamar brings Amnon food she doesn't go according to the plan. Instead of putting herself in a situation where they would be alone she took the pan and "emptied it out before him". In verses twelve and thirteen Tamar refuses again trying to reason with Amnon, warning him that he will "be considered one of the stupid fools of Israel" and that if he truly loved her to "speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you". Not only is he given a chance to silence the problem, and repent privately, but he is given a chance to let the opportunity pass by, repent publically, and then he's handed the invitation to still get what he wants in a law abided way! Who wouldn't do that?!

Needless to say Amnon refuses. Set in his boorish ways, Amnon is faithful, but sadly he is faithful to his "troubled sickness". Not only does Amnon disgrace her, but then he rejects Tamar and sends her away alone and desolate. And Tamar to the best of our knowledge stayed alone. In verse twenty it is said that Absalom tells Tamar to "take not this matter to heart". Oh it will be fine! You've just lost your virginity by force and been shamed by an entire nation to stay lonely the rest of your life. What a hopeful situation. The verse continues to say that Tamar remained in Absalom's house, a desolate woman. Desolate here is the word "shamem"m which means deserted. It's no guess that she was left alone after this. She probably grew to be an old woman, with no husband but only surrounding herself with women with a broken trust and a leper like standing in society.

Thankfully, that's not the end of Tamar.

In the remaining fifty-six books of the bible Tamar is mentioned once. Soon following this event and after Absalom takes his revenge against Amnon, killing the rapist, Tamar is mentioned in a short aside. I'm sure just as any daughter Tamar often went to her father in times of trouble asking the question, "Daddy, am I beautiful?" I'm sure after the event with Amnon she might have been afraid to ask that question. I'm sure she was afraid of what the answer might be. I'm sure in her own mind there was no point in asking because she already knew the answer. Well, she knew what she thought the answer would be.

In verse twenty-seven of the chapter directly after her rape, Tamar is unveiled again. Not as a recovering victim. She is not unveiled as an old, broken woman imbittered towards the male gender. She is not even unveiled as a woman of acceptable stature from years of repentence and pardon from the Head Priest.

There were born to Absalom three sons and one daughter whose name was Tamar; she was a beautiful woman.

In the completely restoring manner that God often grants us, Tamar is counted beautiful. After the troubles she has been thrown upon, after the disgrace shown to her, and after her father denies the importance of her sorrows, she is called beautiful. To a testament of God's restoring power in her life as well as ours, one thing stands out like a sore thumb. The word in this sentece that we translate into "beautiful"? The word the writer uses is "yapheh". If you aim your eyes to the first verse of the previous chapter you'll find that the same word that describes the essence of who Tamar is before that life-shattering and soul crippling event is the same word that she is called after.

"Daddy, am I beautiful?"

I bet she was never ready to hear the same word afterwards.

S.N.O.W.

I don't think the word "snow" accurately describes how awesome it is. You have this glorious invention of God that comes down at a leisurely pace and changes everything. Regardless of how dense it might be it always seems like it's strolling along, like each flake is walking hand and hand with their romantic counter-part on some cosmic journey to the ground below. The only time we really think of snow as being violent is when we're driving. But then we get out of the car, look around, and realize it's not so bad after all. We've been worrying about this devastating thing that's nothing more than water that's a little colder than it's used to.

The best thing about snow, though, is it's ability to change, as I said. Colors don't exist in snow because everything changes to white. I drove today from Lynchburg, Virginia to Johnstown, Ohio. The trip started off with no snow, no ice, but bright sunshine and fairly warm air. The further and further I ascended the cooler it became and the thinner the air felt. There's some sort of refreshment that comes from thin, cool air when it hits your lungs and your body has the shock that feels like walls being erected against some invaded force. Then when you finally expel that air you see the invaded forces being repelled by this weaponry of foggy breath, spreading out in all directions. I love when it's so cold you can see your breath. It's almost like a unique signal to only God knows what. Other people? The trees? God himself? Whatever our smoke-signal-like breath is it's unique, if nothing else.

The further I departed north the more colors began to fade. The browns of trees, the lighter branches, the emerald grass and the black road began to become grey-toned. Eventually everything just became white. With darkness settling in the ability to see colors at all lessened especially with the white particles hugging closely to every fiber of creation. For just a short amount of time, everything is the same. The World becomes almost like a communism of creation where all is pure, all is true and everything is equally lovely to look at. I long to live in this world where seldom do we see color, but always the white pure look of this colored glass that dances down to the ground where it makes its home for a short time. Only long enough for our eyes to take in its beauty and then before we know it, the greens have returned along with the tall browns and tans, soon to be sprouting green offspring of their own. Upon which will soon perch blues, reds, and even orange spheres with their darkly colored wings, singing for us their anthem of color.

Responsibility? What's that?

One of the wisest men I know once said "All our lives are won and lost between our ears. Our greatest battles, struggles, temptations and how we choose to live is all contingent on what's in our mind." What happens when your mind is in turmoil? When you're tired and aching making what normally is your source for intelligence, wise decision making skills is rather effected. It's these times where I thank God for His Spirit. That he can take control over my incessant ramblings and express the unexpessable. He can describe the indescribable. He shouts my thoughts and praises when I'm struck speechless. He comforts me when I am uncomfortable. Most of all he saves me when I am wrapped up in myself. When I look at God and believe that this ruler is anything shy of the amazing Lord of my life. The loving Master whom I serve.

Clayton King is an evangelist who travels all over the world preaching the gospel unabashed and without apology. His teaching of the word last week during Liberty's Spiritual Emphasis Week brought with it a question of allegiance: "Who is Lord?" In your financial life, who is Lord? Does Jesus deserve the allegiance of your wallet? More importantly than the question of whether or not he deserves such allegiance, does he possess that allegiance? Jesus' deserving of our total and allegiance sadly does not always warrant the answer of whether or not he has it. James says those with divided interest and half-hearted allegiance is like a wave tossed about. When I first think of this analogy I give the wave too much credit, believing that such a thing would be powerful and useful for something at least. The realization comes to me that power without direction is nothing but destructive.

The only thing a brutal wave is good for is erosion. The land masses that we have that guide is when we are adrift in sea slowly get whittled away as we let the waves of our misguided interests slam against the shores like thousands of slow chisels sculpting away at our lives. The great memorial for the things God has done and the lands he has built get eroded the more we let these waves go unsettled. James also goes further to say that our tongues are a part of our lives that need desperately to be tamed. In our lives where we are aimlessly adrift in the restlessly crashing waves our boat is controlled by a rudder that is our tongues. When our tongues are amidst the words of the world and the language of those who do not declare Jesus to be their Lord, our tongues abandon our set course and drive for us. Much like the Apostle Paul was shipwrecked our tongues will similarly leave us destroyed, abandoned and without a vessel to carry us further.

Once again, though the question arises: "Who is Lord?" The funny thing is, our greatest enemy is our free will. That we have the choice to say yes or no. Because all of creation knows. And James says that the Demons know, too. Luke tells us that not only does creation know Jesus is their Lord but they clearly obey him. In Luke's Good News he brings us to the disciples conversation in chapter eight when they ask, "Who is this man, that commands the wind and water? And they obey!" And there's only one answer to the very similar question, "Who is Lord?". Who IS this man who is the commander of life, the blesser of finances, the keeper of security, the creator of creation and the Word who is on our tongues? Jesus is Lord.

A smile from a friend

I think I really do walk through life not considering how awesome God is. Everyday God gives us opportunity to love him a little bit more and I would usually consider this a complete joy. The only problem is, how many times do I completely miss it? It almost makes me want to cry at the thought of there are so many times when I completely ignore something special God has sent just for me and I don't even notice. It's like a wife sending her husband a card and him not even reading it.

There are days that are rough. Today was one of those days. There are some days you just need to drive. I'm one of those people that just goes when he's having a bad day. If I'm angry, I'll drive aimlessly until I've taken enough turns that I don't know where I am. Then by the time it takes me to figure out how to get back home, I will have removed all angry feelings from my system and thought logically. If I'm feeling bad I'll just drive in circles until physically I'm tired of doing the same thing and I can break down my exterior walls and be vulnerable. Thankfully, God has been granting me comfort long before that point that I can finally get up and walk again. As The Normals say in their song "We are Beggars at the Foot of God's Door", "We have asked to see Your face and noticed nothing, but a well timed honest smile from a friend. Oh we of little faith, Oh You of stubborn grace"

Thank you friend, whom cheered my spirits today. Thank you and may you keep following God and cheering others. Praise Yahweh, He who is the lifter of our spirits eternally.

As Cities Burn

Normally I would think it corny to post song lyrics... but I think these are things we all need to hear. These are all from As Cities Burn's latest release, "Come Now Sleep" They're all taken from various songs. The cries for the Grace of God are unmistakable and endearing. May we all cry for God's continual Grace this much. Maybe we would love him more; maybe we would love each other more.

Cause I was a pharisee,
I never saw my need for grace;
Then your love came to me
stood next to mine, and I saw that I was poor.

They say that good boys walk straight on white lines.
Good boys keep their livers clean,
And smoke out of their lungs.
'Cause it's all about what you've done,
Good boys don't make mistakes to learn from.

Grace make your way to the well,
To those who deserve it.
After all they've earned it.
But vain, it's in vain,
'Cause they don't need it.

we've got prices on our heads
and millstones around our necks
we try to live forgiven but they won't let us forget

forget about being honest
forget about being passionate
wear that smile like you feel it
even when you don't
forget about being honest
forget about being passionate
i think they forgot about Jesus
seeking us out

Is your love really Love?
Is my love really Love?
I think our love isn't Love,
Unless it's Love to the end.

Is your god really God?
Is my god really God?
I think our god isn't God,
If he fits inside our heads.

If I make it to heaven
I may be as bloody as hell.
Would you still take me?
I'm afraid that you might say,
"Depart from me, I never knew you."

I'm sure if you wanted to stop love,
You could just untie your end and let it go.
But, my God, you don't.
Yeah, I think I love you for it.

[a song about his friend Timothy dying]
Tell me I'm only dreaming.
Tell me he's just sleeping.
And when morning comes,
We'll both wake up to see the sun,
And love that's enough to keep our friends alive.


Sweet hearts of love and evangelism. The sweet and sometimes screaming melodies showing that any sound without love would not be as sweet. Cause I was a pharisee too... and I have realized that I am poor. The closer I get to the riches of God the poorer I see that I am. I hope that I am more poor tomorrow than I am today. That God may give abundantly, and that in my life I may live with riches that are not of this world and will never perish. That I will know my life and its blessings will outlast any words I have said or deeds I have done. And I forever hope that he gives me life and that I live in abundantly and in a manner worthy of the good news of Jesus Christ dying because he loves me.

John 10:10
Phil 1:27
1 Thes 2:12-13